Breaking Up is hard to do : Don’t Text it

I remember one of my worst/ weirdest breakups was a combination of Ghosting and a final mail declaring that it was “Over” after 3 weeks of not talking to me .

He was an instrumentalist I had met while I was in my undergrad program. We had met in one of our common core classes and hit it off right away. I honestly remember going to a show with this guy , then making out and … we were in a relationship. It seemed like time flew in that relationship.

I should have read the signs that this man was afraid of intimacy in the beginning. He didn’t like or want me to ever sleep over after we had spent time together. Even when we … *ahem* got intimate he would still insist that I go back to my own bed. Being the ballsy girl I am (and also a freakin’ adult) I tried to ask him if there was something wrong/ did he still want to be together. He said everything was fine and I , being a reasonable human being, took him at his word and continued on.


A few months after the start of our relationship, the summer came and I was accepted to a summer opera program that would cause me to be gone most of the summer. That was when he stopped talking to me altogether without so much as a word. No phone call. No texting . Nothing.

I tried several times to reach out to him before finally writing an angry email giving him an ultimatum. He either answered me or else.


I finally received an email from the guy saying it was “just over” and that was it. We were done. In retrospect, I should have just said this was over from the first week and not be so hopeful. I think the worst part of it was that he didn’t keep it personal or do me the courtesy to say it on the phone. The email felt so cold and impersonal.

Overall , This whole situation did me a huuuge favor. I realized that any intense or difficult conversation is better doing in person or as close to personal as you can . DO NOT text or email a breakup. Talk to the person. Talk to each other!!!

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